Sunday, September 26, 2010

Realizations over a Song that lead to the Prince Charming, Heroes and Jerks


You Got It All ( by The Jets) is one of my ultimate love songs. I always believed that love breaks walls and barriers of cynicism and mistrust, heals (if not all) most wounds and lifts the baggage of the past and even the present. As I am a person with intertwining webs of knots of baggage and haunting past... I think I have stone-casted myself with this unreal and non-existent idea of the right one for me. He shall be my ultimate hero who will take away all the pain and break me from my spiky prickly thorns of my armored hedgehog spirit. I am tough. I had no choice but to be. But deep inside, I still yearn to be that "Damsel in Distress Princess" who will be rescued by her "Prince Charming".

Please save me.

As time pass by, I gotten use to being single and independent, I grew resentment over that "Damned-Prince-Charming" na yan. If he truly does exist, why did he let got through all the hardships alone... Why he didn't save me... Why does it seem everybody else's "Prince Charming" came but not mine.

In the process of coping up and lifting my un-kindred spirit, I killed my own (Buddha) - my "Prince Charming". I faced the reality that I had no need to depend on him, or even mistakenly objectify him. If I want to be saved, I shall be a "HERO" myself alone. So I killed my "Prince Charming".

As I obsessed over lambasting Wonderwoman, I fixated on the idea of being the"HERO"... I developed the utter need to save. A sick sense of altruism. Perhaps vindicating the idea "If no one will save me, may be I'm the saviour." It is such a romantic idea of holding on to people in the lowest points of their lives. I am the "HERO" with heavy baggage, but still didn't care.Everything seems a challenge. I am the right path, I shall save them. Evidently, I sickly fed on to the fixation.

Then came the "Jerks", who badly needs, or even beyond, repair. One came another, and another, and another. They were in various forms... The verbally abusive pothead; The emotional trasher who needs a trashcan ,and The sexually confused boy are few of the most interesting characters I have come across to.As I crave the need to give out love, attention and affection, sadly everyJerk disregarded me and became their prey. Instead of becoming a "HERO" , I ended up not saving anyone but sucked up by the blackhole of every Jerk.

Before I get totally sucked out from my sanity and go down the shame spiral I want to correct my misconstrued judgment. I wanna look back to my old self. That sweet girl longing for her "Prince Charming". There was a sweet time in my life where my heart belonged in New York, I thought I found my prince... He made me believe in destiny and the divine power of the universe... the ultimate sense of greater purpose. He made me speak in perfect poetry and paint my life with dreams and ambitions. Some of the baggage of my past didn't seem to matter anymore... I have learned to let a few of them go... As if all the pain I went through became all worth it... Back then I wasn't looking for anything nor waiting for anything. But I found love in an almost divine form, so I say.

As I listen to my ultimate love song... as I am sharing it to another... It reminded me that it can happen. He may have not been my "Prince Charming" just yet... But how much more can I be saved by the real one? To be swept away in just one look, to come like a ray of light, and be all that you asked for. I am un-killing, you again my prince. I rather have wait for you and not come, than to be sucked out from sanity by those vicious Jerks around... Universe, please help me with my plight.

Save me, but I won't be waiting. :-)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Realizations Over Left-Over Dinner

As I work as usual with my never-ending to do list and scheduled plans, my cousin took the initiave to ask me, "Kumain ka na ba, Ate?"... I am so not used to having anyone ask this things. I usually end up not eating and skipping meals because honest to goodness, I am too lazy to cook, I don't want to do other things beside what I am tasked to do unless it is done, I tend to be too picky with food when I'm working... So many inexcusabe excuses to think of.

"Ipaghahain kita, pero tirang ulam na lang", said my cousin, I am more than grateful since I've only eaten 6 pieces of cocktail hotdogs, a scrambled egg, and 7 pieces of siomai in my 18 hours spent awake this day. As he walks away to prepare me some left-over dinner... "Ipaghahain na kita, at alam ko namang magpapalipas ka nanaman ng gutom pag walang nakahain."

I just realized, I often forget about myself. I so long for petty things like this... How I long for someone to take care of me. Of course Atreyu never fails to do so... But I never realized how it felt so good to be taken care of... To wake up in the morning and have something to eat haha... But I won't be cooking nor washing the dishes! haha! Then there's one specific person that popped in my mind. I realized, everybody needs to be taken care of, I think, sadly... I cannot take care but I need to be.

For my worn-out self who forgot how it is to be loved, I'm sorry. All I know is how to dream, how to work hard and try so hard to be acknowledged and accepted.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Atreyu and Tracy at the Toycon Megamall



Atreyu and Tracy at the Toycon, Megamall last June 19, 2010 ^_^

I took my son to the Toycon last week. Although I am not really sure if I really went there for him or for myself. haha. I saw my ultimate dream doll: BLYTHE! in real life! haha.



I want Blythe. I have to rob a bank first. haha. 5k PhP to 8k PhP for a doll?! yeah sound derranged. But Blythe is the ultimate fashion doll… every fashion designer must have her! I made that up. haha :-p























Atreyu on the otherhand, never got tired of roaming around the booths. He never got tired of taking pictures with his “endorsements”. Atreyu, you’re like a catalog model. haha.



Atreyu and the giant Lego’s haha. One of Atreyu’s endorsements! haha! There are moreeee of those in Liley’s Facebook Photo Album


And before anything else, I just want to say something that would warn the consumers of Pocky. Gosh I was totally ripped-off by that Pocky Stand. I guess it’s my own bad since I like anything pink. I bought this strawberry Pocky because of my impulsive buying weakness for anything pink. Only to realize… I bought it for 100PhP… I passed by SM yday and saw this box of stawberry Pocky. RAAAHHHH guess how much they cost? PhP40.00

Don’t EVER buy this at any Cons. They over price from Php40 to PhP100!?!

Well that’s all. I miss writing our adventures even the mundane stuffs. I wish to write more soon! ^_^

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Perfect Prom Topping (The Philippine Star feature Written by: Rebecca C. Rodriguez)

"The Perfect Topping for Prom" Written by: Rebecca C. Rodriguez
March 5, 2010 The Philippines Start Y-Style Section
Model: Linn Oeyemo 


MANILA, Philippines - Ooh, the prom fever is here. And your memory lane of this coming-of-age high school event reeks of a fashion faux pas, too-orangey lipstick and a painful foot crunch from your date’s dancing mishap.

But then, don’t we chicks all dream of that Pretty in Pink moment when Molly Ringwald makes Andrew McCarthy’s jaw drop? Or even better, have Edward Cullen make walls tumble down à la Twilight just to make Bella Swan happy?

Victorian romance: Play with a bright pink gloss  
and a flawless complexion  and top it off  with 
a Cherry Blossom tiara from 

Oriental Overtures
 by Tracy Dizon
To stand out in the prom, dig the tiaras by Tracy Dizon. This Project Runway Philippines 2 contestant and representative for the 47th Japan Fashion Design Contest describes herself as eclectic, quirky, playful, bubbly and kawaii (the Japanese term for cuteness) and lives by the mantra that fashion is an art, a form of expression by making something beautiful; a masterpiece of sorts. 

“Ever since I played with Barbie dolls and paper dolls, I have been fascinated with dressing up, fashion and clothing. I grew up having a fascination for era clothing, says Dizon. “I truly believe I have this vow of commitment to remain true to my playful and quirky vision in spite of being part of an industry known for its fickleness.”

So here are four looks to suit your ever-changing prom needs: imagine channeling the classic vibe of Audrey Hepburn with a flawless face and toned-down hues that are almost muted with a soft matte pink lipstick. Like a character from Jane Austen’s novels, go for darker eye shadows and a very sweet pink gloss. To be the center of attention in a J-Pop Gothic Lolita way, opt for bold lipstick with dark lip liner like Dita Von Teese or Katy Perry. For a funkier and more playful look, pair smoky eyes with a pale lip and you’re ready to go.

For sure, you won’t have that Drew Barrymore Never Been Kissed moment but surely a star-bright one.

* * *
For more information on Tiara by Tracy Dizon or the headpiece fascinators and hats, e-mail march30girls@gmail.com or visit www.march30store.com and http://tsureishi.tumblr.com.