As I work as usual with my never-ending to do list and scheduled plans, my cousin took the initiave to ask me, "Kumain ka na ba, Ate?"... I am so not used to having anyone ask this things. I usually end up not eating and skipping meals because honest to goodness, I am too lazy to cook, I don't want to do other things beside what I am tasked to do unless it is done, I tend to be too picky with food when I'm working... So many inexcusabe excuses to think of.
"Ipaghahain kita, pero tirang ulam na lang", said my cousin, I am more than grateful since I've only eaten 6 pieces of cocktail hotdogs, a scrambled egg, and 7 pieces of siomai in my 18 hours spent awake this day. As he walks away to prepare me some left-over dinner... "Ipaghahain na kita, at alam ko namang magpapalipas ka nanaman ng gutom pag walang nakahain."
I just realized, I often forget about myself. I so long for petty things like this... How I long for someone to take care of me. Of course Atreyu never fails to do so... But I never realized how it felt so good to be taken care of... To wake up in the morning and have something to eat haha... But I won't be cooking nor washing the dishes! haha! Then there's one specific person that popped in my mind. I realized, everybody needs to be taken care of, I think, sadly... I cannot take care but I need to be.
For my worn-out self who forgot how it is to be loved, I'm sorry. All I know is how to dream, how to work hard and try so hard to be acknowledged and accepted.