Friday, January 28, 2011

Short and Sweet~

Ohhh God knows how I want to write my heart-out today. But I am too tired and I want to call it a night. I want to write about many things! And tomorrow I shall blog my heart out! haha. As a reminder I will roster the things I should write about:

  1. Arabian Nights Overload
  2. Jill and Richard's Sakura Wedding
  3. Finishing "After Dark" >> Feruary 5, 2011
  4. Pin-Up Girl Beauties!
  5. Atreyu lost his two front teeth! so cute!
For now, I want to go and hit the bed already. I have been awake since 3am. I am very sleepy. Blog tomorrow! Promise!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tokyo After Dark

Hello again. I've blogged now twice for today, haha I have so many insights! Haha! I forgot to blog about some of the happy thoughts I've accomplished for this past few weeks. I just came home from my Marikina City trip... It felt good reading a good book on my jeep ride going there. I finally got something from my very old wishlist that I have...

Finally crossed out "After Dark" by Haruki Murakami in my ancient wish list

For SOOOO many years (since 2008/2009?) I wanted to get a copy of Haruki Murakami's book: "After Dark" I didn't realize it took me how many years since I got it. Imagine it took me 3 years?? Well... there's a petty reason behind that. I wanted to get a copy with this cover:

I wanted to get this After Dark book but I couldn't find this version
But... it took me year to even find a copy of "After Dark"  
But it took me how many years to even find a copy... so when I saw this one last copy in a bookstore in Makati... I just grab and bought it.

And now I'm currently reading it. I'm enjoying it... So far... It's one vivid book I say. Murakami's description of each places, happenings are picturesque. I imagine being in Shibuya after dark... because of the neon lights I knew that feeling... waiting for the train to open at six o'clock in the morning since cab rides in Tokyo are too expensive.

Tracy & Veejay going down the
Tokyo Subway on our way to
I remember our Roponggi night out when I was in Tokyo with Veejay and Nicole... It was fun but not my thing... Plus there's this offending connotation when old men learned that I'm a Filipina. Ugghhhh I hate that. I am educated you know! Not all Filipina's are what you think they are. But as the night came by... I remember walking back and forth to Roponggi looking for Veejay... It's a cold night to stay out and my mini skirt, leather jacket and winter tights doesn't warm me enough for that night. I remember bottled water costs 700 Yen?!? Haha. What an expensive water that was. It was an interesting night... I danced with so many people, there's this French guy whom I danced with... It was so fun! haha. I remember there was this drunk Japanese guy who wanted to kiss me. My gosh. People! It was an interesting night out for me since I don't usually go on bars like that here in Manila. I am both amused and shocked. Imagine... at my old age of 26 I don't know how to go "clubbing" haha. I remember going back to our hotel room in a brand new Benz... Thanks to Nicole's date he drove us back in our hotel in Shinjuku. Haha. My fond memories of Tokyo!

Anws, I want to get back to my reading... and sleep earlier today. I'm off to Divisoria tomorrow... But before I bid my "goodnight's" I want to share this memorable quote from Murakami's After Dark:
"If you really want to know something... You have to be willing to pay the price..."
-  Tetsuya Takahashi from the novel "After Dark" by Haruki Murakami  

Well... That's it for now... I hope tomorrow will be a more fruitful day. I hope. Crossing fingers as always! Good night!

Chasing Over Daytime

ABS-CBN Morning Show Umagang Kay Ganda
January 3, 2011 First Episode of the Year T.V. Guesting 
Hi! I haven't been blogging for a week or so? I have been busy with mental stuff... no not psychological mind fucks haha. It's actually a good thing... I feel so blessed and thankful for the weekly new client inquiries I have been getting. It's either that TV appearance in Umagang Kay Ganda last January 3, 2011 (to start of the year with an early BANG!) or I'm just really lucky to have collaborated with designer friends like Veejay Floresca, Santi Obcena, Czarina Villa and my mentor Joey Samson

I am currently working on another collaboration with Veejay right now... And after this I am working on a design proposal with a new client whom I met last Sunday... She's so pretty! She looks like Troian Bellisario a.k.a. Spencer Hastings of the T.V. Series Pretty Little Liars... So Pretty! Look at the uncanny resemblance:
This is my new wedding clients: Peter Mendoza & Kava Danao... gorgeous couple! 
And this is Troian Bellisario a.k.a. Spencer Hastings of Pretty Little Liars
Di ba? They look alike!Haha! I can't wait to finish my design for her! Their wedding is a very unique themed wedding and I'm so excited to do their wedding! But I'm yet to finish one entourage for Tiara. Actually I'm a bit stressed out... because my suppliers are problematic nowadays. Nonetheless, I don't want to stress myself with unnecessary problems.

Designing for me is a big mind game. I really try to squeeze the sense out of every details. I love doing it but sometimes it really does take a lot of time. It's all worth it naman. It's just I sometimes feel daytime is too short for me... I always feel like I'm chasing daytime... Then when the night arrives, when I'm all fuelled up... It's time to go to bed.

I'm really not a day person. It's such an understatement... But I have to adjust since I'm prepping up my son Atreyu for his daily school stuffs. huhu. I'm so not domesticated. But I try.

As the one daytime passes by again... I have to stop and contemplate for a while. I love writing... It's a part of every person's history. And this blog in a way will be part of my "herstory" eventually. haha. me and my grandiose drama's haha! Now I shall prepare for another misadventure in Marikina City. I shall ready my music player, earphones and some Shonen Knife to cheer up my day! Kawaii~

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Dark Tale of the Black Swan

"Ate, don't watch it alone...", my sister warned me upon making a copy of the movie "Black Swan". But since I wanted to break-off my lazy bones last night... I attempted to watch it ALONE and IN THE DARK on a lazy Friday Night.  

Well, one thing I could say is that SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF MY SANITY is an understatement for this pyschological-thriller film... And even as if it is excruciating as it may seem, I loved it to pieces!

Aside from stating the obvious, Natalie Portman's performance is totally award-winning. I must confess that I am not really a Natalie Portman fan... but she really did a remarkable performance. In fact, I totally forgot she was Natalie Portman... to me she really became Nina Sayers that frail uber-perfectionist ballerina who struggled within herself to strive for the ultimate perfect performance of her life. It was a real performance, even with her subtle pitch of her voice to the refined grace... and that powerful Black Swan alter-ego... It was really all well played.

 I also was super delighted to see Winona Ryder and Mila Kunis in the ensemble cast. I must say I am the ultimate Winona Ryder fan. I just wish she could have been around more in the whole plot of the story.  Mila Kunis was also remarkable and seductingly beautiful as always. OMG, you have got to see the ultimate sex scene! Totally orgasmic! And totally HOT!! Haha! 

This psychological-thriller's twists and turns are definitely mind baffling. It is one hell of an emotional ride. The characters' depth were all well studied. I really admire how they all fit well in the world where nothing less than perfection is required to survive. Ultimately, with this highly pressured world, competition is painfully high... But how I see it, the greatest lesson here is one's ultimate competition is within oneself. 
"The only person standing in your way is you. It's time to let her go. Lose yourself..."
- Thomas Leroy
On another note, I must say the Black Swan is a very nice inspiration for my Tiara Headpieces... Oooh I got excited! 

Black Swan Bejewelled Headband $1,315 Erickson Beamon
Natalie Portman wearing a White Feather Headpiece as the White Swan

Tracy's Dear Diary: When it's over That's the time I fall in love again...

I promised myself before entering 2011 that I would try to learn "the greatest lesson of all... to love and be loved" As I exhausted all my means to repair broken friendships and deflated egos. I must say I have never come across with someone so wrathful,  he wished I could die. (harsh!)

I don't want to dwell and brood over impertinent injuries. But regardless of his anger, I tried my  very best to make-up to him. I still cared for his well being. Without him knowing, I brought him food and even help clean up his room. These things I hope could make-up little by little. And these little efforts, I need not to do actually.

The last straw finally hit me. He was still enraged. Enraged with something I didn't do and was accused of. I rest my case and I wave my white flag.

This is probably one of those situations wherein "The Prayer of Serenity" applies. 
"Lord, grant me the Serenity to accept things I cannot change..."
 And now I am grateful God is supporting me with much serenity. It's over I say. I cannot let myself rot in his wrath and pride. I deserve so much and way better than this

As my friends cradles me in times of mishap... times like this... I want to remember Santi's memorable piece of advise to me...
"There are more worthwhile things to invest time on, other than self righteous bastards..."
- Santi Obcena 
And with that, I end you. Thanks for everything, I learned humility.

Scattered Notes All Over the Virtual World

As I am fond of writing and introspecting, I find my bits and pieces of writing all over. I used to blog often in my old multiply site... But as time passed by, I got bored with it. Then microblogging made me lazier and just influx-ed myself with visuals and short words... Tumblr was fun, but it's not the same with having a journal where I could simply reflect on things. 

Then I just found myself simply writing notes on my Facebook. I think I wrote the nicest reflections there. I think. 

I think few of my most memorable reflections and writing should have a proper home here. If you get confused with the dates. Pardon the ambiguity. Hehe. Just a heads up. 

Fixing this site for almost 5 hours now. Really taking up time. Tsk... OC OC OC!  

Friday, January 07, 2011

To the foxiest designer in the world of love and fashion, happy new year! Love you to bits, Trace! - Anna Cantos-Pilares, December 31, 2010 22.24

Ahhh... Do I still know how to write these kinda things? I felt like writing again. It has been a while since I blogged and no thanks to tumblr, plurk and twitter microblooging made me too lazy to write and reflect. And God knows, I have sooooo many blogsites and virtual traces of myself. But I want to write something that could benchmark my last years of my twenty-something life. Oh yes. I'm entering the Saturn Return phase! Haha.

For this first entry, it is entitled from a very memorable greeting last New Year's Eve. It came  from my November 2010 Bride... Thea. I guess, I never realized the best word that could describe me is FOXY! haha. Kidding aside, I am so untamed and yeah... prickly.

I always saw myself as a hedgehog. Spiky. Painful. Feisty. But I think a Fox is sexier haha. 

It reminded me the Chapter 21 one of my favorite book... "The Little Prince" when he befriended the fox . Here's the exerpt (uhhh... rather the whole Chapter 21)

The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It was then that the fox appeared.
"Good morning," said the fox.
"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.
"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."
"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."
"I am a fox," the fox said.
"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."
"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."
"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince.
But, after some thought, he added:
"What does that mean--'tame'?"
"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"
"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean--'tame'?"
"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"
"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--'tame'?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."
"'To establish ties'?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think that she has tamed me . . ."
"It is possible," said the fox. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."
"Oh, but this is not on the Earth!" said the little prince.
The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.
"On another planet?"
"Yes.""Are there hunters on that planet?"
"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"
"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.
But he came back to his idea.
"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ."
The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.
"Please--tame me!" he said.
"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."
"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.
"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . ."
The next day the little prince came back.
"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . ."
"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.
"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all." 
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:
"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret." 
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose. 
And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

It is still by far one of the most endearing life lessons I've kept in my heart and surprisingly I have come to use this powerful lines over and over again in my 20's decade.Up until today, it is still heartfelt and endearing to tame and be tamed like a fox.

Cheers for new beginnings and more lessons to be learned and applied.